Do you have clearly defined boundaries in your life?  The boundaries you set for yourself indicate your level of self-love and are essential to your well-being.  Having boundaries – and ensuring they’re enforced – is also critical to being empowered in your life.

Giving away your power means letting others violate your boundaries.  Perhaps you grew up without clearly defined boundaries, or a blurry idea of what they should look like.  Do you have someone in your life who is continually treating with you disrespect?  When you simply tolerate it you send the message that you’re not important and that they can treat you any way they want to.  It’s a very disempowering feeling that, over time, can really chip away at your self-worth and inner confidence.  Whatever the case may be, it’s time for a change.  It’s time to step into your power and take control of your life!

When those in your life don’t respect your boundaries and are constantly overstepping them, it can be a gut-wrenching feeling and a real, physical sensation.  Yet if you’ve been used to having your boundaries violated from an early age, this feeling may not register with you.  Our bodies are great navigational tools that are designed to keep us on track if we  pay attention, and to let us know when we’re veering off course.  My own personal experience in setting boundaries hasn’t always been strong, but through listening to my heart and my intuition, I have learned to sense when something is not right for me.

My own personal boundaries became very clear to me after my former husband moved out.  We were newly separated and when he would stop by to pick up the kids he just walked right in the door of the home we used to share without knocking, regardless of who was here or what I was doing.  I felt violated from the very first time he did it, and politely asked if he would knock first.  After several times of ignoring my request, I found myself screaming at him and letting him know this behavior was not ok, and that disregarding my feelings wasn’t ok, either.  He got the message and has ever since honored my request that he knock or ring the bell and wait until I answer the door before he enters the house.  It makes it much easier to communicate with him now because I know I am being respected and I am able to respect him as well.  It was very empowering to speak up for what is important to me, and while I don’t advocate screaming, sometimes you have to do what it takes to get the attention of those who are ignoring you.

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
~Sonya Friedman

We all have boundaries in many areas of our lives – with friends, with children, with family and with clients.  Those boundaries define the behavior that we will and will not tolerate.  Whether others agree with your boundaries, or understand why you set them, isn’t nearly as important as whether or not they respect them.  By honoring your limits they are, in essence, honoring you.  When you can step up and ask for what you really want, you show that you value yourself.  Others will treat you the way you show them you should be treated.  When you allow your boundaries to be stepped all over and disregarded, you send the message that you do NOT value yourself and others will not value you either.

Stepping into your power comes from loving yourself and showing others that you feel you are worthy.  When your self-worth has been diminished, it becomes difficult for others to treat you better than you treat yourself.  Therefore you must own your power and show the world that your wants and your needs are important.  It’s not only ok to ask for what you want and need, it is essential to your well being.  And by having clear, defined boundaries you set the example for others to have clear, defined boundaries as well.  Honoring your self and knowing what is right for you can empower you to be the person you were meant to be.  And that’s a beautiful thing!

Your Assignment:

Ask yourself ‘How am I giving away my power?’  Determine what areas of your life you let others cross your boundaries, or where setting boundaries could help to empower you.

Take one step this week to strengthen your boundaries and see how much it can boost your confidence.  Setting clear, defined boundaries doesn’t necessarily mean spelling them out for all the world to see, but it does mean listening to your inner compass and knowing when someone has crossed them.  Speak up and let them know that this is where you draw the line and that you will no longer tolerate their behavior.  Then notice how you feel about yourself.  If you don’t respect and protect you, who will?