What Have You Done for YOU Lately?

 Now that the holidays are over it’s time to take a breather. You’ve probably been so busy doing everything for everyone else that you may have neglected yourself. Well, ladies, it’s time for a little TLC!

As women, we are often the caregivers for our family and we work hard to take care of those we love. Yet when we are constantly caring for others our tank becomes empty and our batteries need to be recharged. Taking time out to take care of ourselves can help us refill our tanks so that we have more to give. When we’re replenished we’re happier, more relaxed and able to take on life with a more positive attitude. Plus when we boost our image we boost our self confidence!

But where to start? If it’s been so long since you’ve taken time out just for yourself you don’t even know where to begin, here are a few suggestions to get you started. But don’t just stick to my list, take these and run wild!

1. Have your makeup updated for the new season – try new colors, techniques and products. Choose an afternoon where you have time to relax and indulge yourself so you’re not feeling rushed and ask for the works. Take note of application techniques and ask questions.  You can focus just on lipstick, eyes or your whole face.   Then buy only those products you know you’ll really use.

2. Reassess your lingerie – Do you still have bras from ten years ago? Ditch ‘em and take yourself for a bra fitting. Most lingerie boutiques and many department stores have knowledgable sales people who can help and make recommendations just for you. But don’t stop with bras. Take stock of your panties and give shapewear a try. Along with another year come new bumps and bulges. Shapewear can help smooth these out and have you looking slimmer and trimmer than ever.  And this time of year sales abound!

3. Have a fit – Do you have pants that drag the ground? Skirts that graze mid-calf? Jackets that are just enough too long that they make you look shorter? Then go through your closet and have those items that need alterations taken to the tailor. It’s amazing what alterations can do to boost your image and help your clothes fit like a glove.

4. Adorn Yourself – are you afraid of wearing accessories or don’t know where to start? Well it’s time you became in the know! Jewelry, scarves, handbags, hats and shoes are the quickest (and most fun!) way to update your look and create a polished image. Start small and create a “signature” item: if you find you really love bracelets then start a collection and wear several at once. If you love handcrafted earrings then build your outfits around them. You’ll create your own unique style in the process.

5. Don’t Lose Weight – Yes, you read that right! No matter what your weight, you’re beautiful right now! What, you can’t see it because you’re hiding behind that muu muu? Well it’s high time you packed those baggy sacks away and put on clothes that show YOU off. Focus on your best assets (your eyes, your legs, your hair, your smile!) and the rest will just melt into the background. Don’t forget accessories, but most importantly, wear your confidence – you are gorgeous! Don’t be surprised if you get asked, “have you lost weight?’ Simply smile and relish the attention!

6. Make a date with yourself – When’s the last time you put YOU on your schedule or your to-do list? I want to encourage you to schedule some time just for you this week. On your calendar, in pen. It could be an afternoon of shopping, a trip to the spa, a few quiet minutes to meditate or just some time spent at the bookstore reading magazines and sipping a steaming cup of tea. My point is that you don’t have to spend any money but you do need to make time in your life to reconnect with yourself.

7. Start a style journal – Write down ideas for outfits, paste in pictures of things you think are very YOU, record any drawings of details or accessories you’d like to look for. Take some time to think about your personal style and reflect on how it’s changed over the years. What common elements do you see? Do you feel your style needs an update? If so, what could you quickly and easily change that would give you a boost?

8. Pretend you’re a tourist – Dress up and wear your nicest dress, that hat you’ve been saving or that expensive blouse, and head out on a lunch date with your girlfriend, your man or even yourself. You don’t have to be in New York or Paris to dress like it! Wear things in a way you wouldn’t normally in your home town. Book a reservation at that little bistro you’ve been wanting to try. Sip champagne or have a cappuccino. Take the rest of the day off for sightseeing and shopping. Stop for tea and a pastry. Take pictures and see things in a new way. You’ll go home with a fresh perspective and an appreciation for being right where you are.

9. Have a spa night– Invite your girlfriends over or just powwow with your daughter. Have a special snack and do nails, tweeze brows, brush hair, play with makeup and give massages. It’s a nice “girls’ night in” and a great way to catch up on some personal grooming.

10. Organize Your Closet – Whether you work with a professional or want to tackle it yourself, spending some time to revamp your wardrobe and overhaul your closet is time well spent.  It can make getting dressed quick and easy, give you a new perspective on your style and yourself, and leave you feeling fabulous each time you go to your closet instead of feeling stressed-out.  Sort through your clothes and donate anything that doesn’t fit, doesn’t flatter or you just don’t like.  If you haven’t worn it in more than a year, pitch it!  Then organize your clothes by style, and within each style sort by color.  Treat yourself to some new hangers.  Plastic or flocked velvet are my favorites, but wood can be nice too.  Please, no more wire hangers!  Also, do what you can to make your closet more visually appealing.  Clear out clutter, put shoes in clear storage containers and ensure your closet looks as great as you’d like to when you emerge from it!

Taking some time out for yourself can leave you feeling refreshed and ready to tackle your to-do list with ease and grace.  I’d love to hear your favorite way to take time out for yourself.

Boundaries Can be Beautiful

Do you have clearly defined boundaries in your life?  The boundaries you set for yourself indicate your level of self-love and are essential to your well-being.  Having boundaries – and ensuring they’re enforced – is also critical to being empowered in your life.

Giving away your power means letting others violate your boundaries.  Perhaps you grew up without clearly defined boundaries, or a blurry idea of what they should look like.  Do you have someone in your life who is continually treating with you disrespect?  When you simply tolerate it you send the message that you’re not important and that they can treat you any way they want to.  It’s a very disempowering feeling that, over time, can really chip away at your self-worth and inner confidence.  Whatever the case may be, it’s time for a change.  It’s time to step into your power and take control of your life!

When those in your life don’t respect your boundaries and are constantly overstepping them, it can be a gut-wrenching feeling and a real, physical sensation.  Yet if you’ve been used to having your boundaries violated from an early age, this feeling may not register with you.  Our bodies are great navigational tools that are designed to keep us on track if we  pay attention, and to let us know when we’re veering off course.  My own personal experience in setting boundaries hasn’t always been strong, but through listening to my heart and my intuition, I have learned to sense when something is not right for me.

My own personal boundaries became very clear to me after my former husband moved out.  We were newly separated and when he would stop by to pick up the kids he just walked right in the door of the home we used to share without knocking, regardless of who was here or what I was doing.  I felt violated from the very first time he did it, and politely asked if he would knock first.  After several times of ignoring my request, I found myself screaming at him and letting him know this behavior was not ok, and that disregarding my feelings wasn’t ok, either.  He got the message and has ever since honored my request that he knock or ring the bell and wait until I answer the door before he enters the house.  It makes it much easier to communicate with him now because I know I am being respected and I am able to respect him as well.  It was very empowering to speak up for what is important to me, and while I don’t advocate screaming, sometimes you have to do what it takes to get the attention of those who are ignoring you.

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
~Sonya Friedman

We all have boundaries in many areas of our lives – with friends, with children, with family and with clients.  Those boundaries define the behavior that we will and will not tolerate.  Whether others agree with your boundaries, or understand why you set them, isn’t nearly as important as whether or not they respect them.  By honoring your limits they are, in essence, honoring you.  When you can step up and ask for what you really want, you show that you value yourself.  Others will treat you the way you show them you should be treated.  When you allow your boundaries to be stepped all over and disregarded, you send the message that you do NOT value yourself and others will not value you either.

Stepping into your power comes from loving yourself and showing others that you feel you are worthy.  When your self-worth has been diminished, it becomes difficult for others to treat you better than you treat yourself.  Therefore you must own your power and show the world that your wants and your needs are important.  It’s not only ok to ask for what you want and need, it is essential to your well being.  And by having clear, defined boundaries you set the example for others to have clear, defined boundaries as well.  Honoring your self and knowing what is right for you can empower you to be the person you were meant to be.  And that’s a beautiful thing!

Your Assignment:

Ask yourself ‘How am I giving away my power?’  Determine what areas of your life you let others cross your boundaries, or where setting boundaries could help to empower you.

Take one step this week to strengthen your boundaries and see how much it can boost your confidence.  Setting clear, defined boundaries doesn’t necessarily mean spelling them out for all the world to see, but it does mean listening to your inner compass and knowing when someone has crossed them.  Speak up and let them know that this is where you draw the line and that you will no longer tolerate their behavior.  Then notice how you feel about yourself.  If you don’t respect and protect you, who will?

Beautiful Quote

‎”A totally different YOU can emerge from a totally different IDEA that you have about yourself. All it takes is a decision to CHANGE YOUR MIND about WHO YOU ARE. and WHY you are here. Perspective is everything. What would it take to elevate your awareness on this day? Whatever it would take, do that. Don’t just think about it. Do it.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch

Image courtesy of http://www.ideachampions.com/

Just Be You!

Recently, when I made an appearance on the TV Show, My Carolina Today, one question I was asked is how to feel great about our wardrobe, in our own skin and in our clothes. My answer? Simple. Just be yourself and let your true beauty shine through. Sounds easy, right? Actually, it can be just that easy but we are weighted down by so much emotional baggage that we think it has to be hard.

While there are many reasons you may not feel confident about yourself, let’s take a look at a few simple strategies that may make a difference for you.

1/ First, ask yourself what you’re tolerating about your appearance. Negative self talk may give you clues to things that you really want to change. Have you wanted to lose 20 pounds for the last few years but just can’t seem to buckle down and do it? Are you tired of looking the same, year after year, but make no effort to change your appearance? Has your once-chic hairdo become a hair don’t? Has it been ages since you’ve invested in a new wardrobe for yourself because you just don’t feel worthy? When you look long and hard at those things that you’d really like to change, and then do it, you release a lot of stagnant energy and free yourself up to focus on the positive.

2/ Next, discover what’s amazing about you. Maybe you have gorgeous legs, a well-proportioned body or a killer smile. Whatever it is – and this is where I truly mean whatever – play it up to the hilt! You want to let that be your focal point and what you build your look around. If your small waist is your best asset, then don’t hide it behind big, baggy clothes. Wear fitted clothing that shows your shape (yes, even if you’re a plus-size!) and watch the compliments come pouring in. This keeps the attention on what’s good and away from everything else.

3/ Stop Comparing! I know this may be easier said than done, but seriously, do you really think you’re supposed to look like the airbrushed models in the magazines (who don’t even look like that in real life) or the glammed up celebs who spend 75% of their time (if not more) on their appearance and have a noted professional to help them manage everything from their weight to their wardrobe on any given day? I don’t think so! Let’s redfine beauty and begin by loving what you see in the mirror. Yes, I said loving – don’t just fall in like with yourself. If you find this hard to do, take baby steps and start one finger (or toe) at a time and continue until you fully love who you are, inside and out! If you’re not happy with your appearance, refer back to #1 and take personal responsibility for it. Only you can make the change.

4/ Dress for you, and for you alone! If you’ve found yourself wearing your hair long because your husband prefers it that way, or wearing a particular style of clothing because your mother always told you it was best for you, then I want to invite you to become a rebel. One of the true keys to confidence and feeling great in your own skin is being in touch with yourself. This means expressing yourself authentically and dressing for the person you truly are. Trust me, when your husband or your mother see how you amazing you look when you rock the short hairstyle you’ve always wanted or the dress you were always told you couldn’t wear, they will be astounded and ask you why you didn’t make the change sooner.

5/ Create Your Signature Style. This is taking authentic dressing to new heights. When you create your signature style it is a way of expressing your innermost self on the outside. Wear the colors you are magnetically drawn to, the shapes that make you feel powerful and the accessories that help you feel more connected to who you are. When you’re wearing something simply because you thought you should, you’re missing the point and the opportunity to really shine.

6/ Trust Yourself. Honestly, this is key to feeling confident in any aspect of your life, but especially when it comes to getting dressed. If you put something on and it makes you feel like you’re disconnected from you, take it off asap! When shopping, don’t listen to what the sales associate or your BFF say if it doesn’t jive with what your gut is telling you. Only you know what’s right for you, and when you listen you will be greatly rewarded. Let your intuition guide you in wearing the clothing that’s going to make you feel fabulous, confident and unstoppable!

Why live life dressing in a mediocre replica of someone when you could be a fabulous first-edition? Just being yourself is all it takes to create a stand out style that’s irreplaceable and leaves you feeling fabulous!

Want to know how I can help you create your best look regardless of the season? Just e-mail me at Michele@OneChicMama.com to set up a 15-minute get acquainted call and discover how you can look your best each and every day!

Are You in Love with You?

It’s said that love conquers all and love comes in different forms. Whether you’re in a relationship or on your own, there’s no better time to be reminded to practice the art of self-love than right now. I want to encourage you to love yourself up! Treat yourself like you would your romantic partner, your best friend or your kids. It’s time to do something nice just for you!

It’s a sad reality that women talk quite ugly to themselves at times, belittling their accomplishments, begrudging themselves for eating a second piece of chocolate or berating themselves for the size of their thighs. In a recent study by Glamour Magazine, 97% of women said at least one negative thing to themselves each day. Are you in that 97%? If so, it’s time to break free from the self deprecating comments and turn off the negative tape that plays over and over in your head.

“It’s your body, you can do whatever you want to with it – including love it. Choose that, just for now.” ~Sandy Kumskov

What happens when you walk around with all that negativity about yourself? For starters, your view of the world becomes glass half empty pretty quickly. Your perception of things is more negative. You become critical of others, and in doing so are critical of yourself. You build a wall around you that disconnects you from others, as well as from yourself.

I want you to tear down that wall and let your true self be revealed in all your glory! Show the world all that you have to offer and embrace yourself for who you are, rather than put yourself down for who you are not. We were not all created to be Angelina Jolie so just stop trying. And if you can’t help be continue to compare yourself, ask yourself if you’d really want to deal with all her problems the tabloids have exploited over the last few months. I certainly wouldn’t.

Your Challenge: To celebrate Valentine’s Day I’d like to challenge you to love yourself today. No nasty comments, no looking in the mirror and putting yourself down. You may be asking, how to get back to loving yourself. After all, you’ve neuroligically programmed your mind to repeat those negative comments and now you don’t know how to stop them. Here are a few ways to get you started. Try them and see what a difference you can make in your life, as well as in the lives of those around you!

1/ Start your day with gratitude. Write down at least 5 things you are grateful for. It will help you to shift your thinking just with this one act.

2/ Notice something about you that’s gorgeous. Do you have lustrous hair, beautiful lips or a curvy shape? Do something to play it up: add a pretty hair accessory, wear a new shade of lipstick or wear a figure-flattering dress. Then note how you feel when you do just this one thing. It can help you see how beautiful you truly are! When you can begin to see your own beauty, your world expands. Seeing your own beauty is about accepting yourself for who you are- and loving every square inch of you! It’s about saying ‘YES’ to you!

3/ Use affirmations. Try this one: Comparing myself to others keeps me small, but seeing my true and unique beauty sets me free. Write it on your mirror (in lipstick:) or print it out and keep it with you. Refer back to it when you catch yourself talking negatively to yourself and see how it can help you to feel great about you!

4/ Give of yourself. Doing something nice for another, or giving a compliment, is a wonderful way to feel great about you! And more often than not, giving a compliment gets a compliment in return, which can help you feel even better! Don’t keep to yourself- share yourself with the world!

5/ Do something just for you. Enjoy a piece of decadent chocolate. Take a bubble bath. Buy yourself flowers. A simple act of self-love will leave you feeling indulged and recharged.