What Have You Done for YOU Lately?

 Now that the holidays are over it’s time to take a breather. You’ve probably been so busy doing everything for everyone else that you may have neglected yourself. Well, ladies, it’s time for a little TLC!

As women, we are often the caregivers for our family and we work hard to take care of those we love. Yet when we are constantly caring for others our tank becomes empty and our batteries need to be recharged. Taking time out to take care of ourselves can help us refill our tanks so that we have more to give. When we’re replenished we’re happier, more relaxed and able to take on life with a more positive attitude. Plus when we boost our image we boost our self confidence!

But where to start? If it’s been so long since you’ve taken time out just for yourself you don’t even know where to begin, here are a few suggestions to get you started. But don’t just stick to my list, take these and run wild!

1. Have your makeup updated for the new season – try new colors, techniques and products. Choose an afternoon where you have time to relax and indulge yourself so you’re not feeling rushed and ask for the works. Take note of application techniques and ask questions.  You can focus just on lipstick, eyes or your whole face.   Then buy only those products you know you’ll really use.

2. Reassess your lingerie – Do you still have bras from ten years ago? Ditch ‘em and take yourself for a bra fitting. Most lingerie boutiques and many department stores have knowledgable sales people who can help and make recommendations just for you. But don’t stop with bras. Take stock of your panties and give shapewear a try. Along with another year come new bumps and bulges. Shapewear can help smooth these out and have you looking slimmer and trimmer than ever.  And this time of year sales abound!

3. Have a fit – Do you have pants that drag the ground? Skirts that graze mid-calf? Jackets that are just enough too long that they make you look shorter? Then go through your closet and have those items that need alterations taken to the tailor. It’s amazing what alterations can do to boost your image and help your clothes fit like a glove.

4. Adorn Yourself – are you afraid of wearing accessories or don’t know where to start? Well it’s time you became in the know! Jewelry, scarves, handbags, hats and shoes are the quickest (and most fun!) way to update your look and create a polished image. Start small and create a “signature” item: if you find you really love bracelets then start a collection and wear several at once. If you love handcrafted earrings then build your outfits around them. You’ll create your own unique style in the process.

5. Don’t Lose Weight – Yes, you read that right! No matter what your weight, you’re beautiful right now! What, you can’t see it because you’re hiding behind that muu muu? Well it’s high time you packed those baggy sacks away and put on clothes that show YOU off. Focus on your best assets (your eyes, your legs, your hair, your smile!) and the rest will just melt into the background. Don’t forget accessories, but most importantly, wear your confidence – you are gorgeous! Don’t be surprised if you get asked, “have you lost weight?’ Simply smile and relish the attention!

6. Make a date with yourself – When’s the last time you put YOU on your schedule or your to-do list? I want to encourage you to schedule some time just for you this week. On your calendar, in pen. It could be an afternoon of shopping, a trip to the spa, a few quiet minutes to meditate or just some time spent at the bookstore reading magazines and sipping a steaming cup of tea. My point is that you don’t have to spend any money but you do need to make time in your life to reconnect with yourself.

7. Start a style journal – Write down ideas for outfits, paste in pictures of things you think are very YOU, record any drawings of details or accessories you’d like to look for. Take some time to think about your personal style and reflect on how it’s changed over the years. What common elements do you see? Do you feel your style needs an update? If so, what could you quickly and easily change that would give you a boost?

8. Pretend you’re a tourist – Dress up and wear your nicest dress, that hat you’ve been saving or that expensive blouse, and head out on a lunch date with your girlfriend, your man or even yourself. You don’t have to be in New York or Paris to dress like it! Wear things in a way you wouldn’t normally in your home town. Book a reservation at that little bistro you’ve been wanting to try. Sip champagne or have a cappuccino. Take the rest of the day off for sightseeing and shopping. Stop for tea and a pastry. Take pictures and see things in a new way. You’ll go home with a fresh perspective and an appreciation for being right where you are.

9. Have a spa night– Invite your girlfriends over or just powwow with your daughter. Have a special snack and do nails, tweeze brows, brush hair, play with makeup and give massages. It’s a nice “girls’ night in” and a great way to catch up on some personal grooming.

10. Organize Your Closet – Whether you work with a professional or want to tackle it yourself, spending some time to revamp your wardrobe and overhaul your closet is time well spent.  It can make getting dressed quick and easy, give you a new perspective on your style and yourself, and leave you feeling fabulous each time you go to your closet instead of feeling stressed-out.  Sort through your clothes and donate anything that doesn’t fit, doesn’t flatter or you just don’t like.  If you haven’t worn it in more than a year, pitch it!  Then organize your clothes by style, and within each style sort by color.  Treat yourself to some new hangers.  Plastic or flocked velvet are my favorites, but wood can be nice too.  Please, no more wire hangers!  Also, do what you can to make your closet more visually appealing.  Clear out clutter, put shoes in clear storage containers and ensure your closet looks as great as you’d like to when you emerge from it!

Taking some time out for yourself can leave you feeling refreshed and ready to tackle your to-do list with ease and grace.  I’d love to hear your favorite way to take time out for yourself.

Do You Give Your Power Away? I Did!

There is a great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that I love that says, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Her perspective is so true, yet all too often I see women who put themselves into the role of victim and they give their power away. They don’t do it so overtly, but very often it begins with their appearance. Maybe they’ve gained a few pounds and don’t like the way their body looks, so they grab any old thing that fits and settle for the dirty tee shirt they wore yesterday. If they must go out, they hide behind a big, boxy jacket and slip on the most comfy shoes they can find. Makeup is non-existent and their hair, most likely, hasn’t been cut in 6 months or more and their roots are beyond showing. Sound familiar?

Now don’t get me wrong – I am not here to judge anyone. I am here to support women and to help them step into their power by expressing their authentic selves in their image. So few things drive me more crazy than seeing a beautiful woman ‘hiding out’ and playing small. Why is this so? Well, because this used to be me. There was a time when I had absolutely zero confidence in who I was as a person, and thought I had nothing to offer. I had a good childhood, so there wasn’t anything traumatic behind this. But I grew up being overweight in elementary school and through high school, and the effects this had on my self-esteem have been lifelong. It wasn’t until I was in college that I got a handle on my weight issues, but my low self-esteem that I left me dressing in a way that totally hid my body, my emotions and my true self. And because of having such low self esteem, I totally gave my power away. To friends, to boyfriends, to stylish women whom I admired. It’s been a journey for me to reclaim my power and to feel great in my own skin. I guess this is why I am so passionate about what I do because I know that it’s not just about how you look on the outside, but that in many cases, that’s where transformation can begin.

So when you look in the mirror how do you feel? Frumpy, fat and fatigued? How would it make you feel to look in the mirror and give yourself a high five for looking so great? It would affect your entire day and make an impact on everyone you come in contact with! You may be feeling overwhelmed and wonder where you even begin…

Reclaiming your power doesn’t have to take lots of hard work. Often it starts with a commitment to yourself that you will value YOU and not put everyone else first. Taking steps to look your best will get you off on the right foot and help you to feel great, no matter what your size or shape. Here are my 5 top tips for stepping into your power through your personal image:

1/ Wear clothing that truly fits your body. If you’ve gained weight, it can be depressing to squeeze into something that’s too tight, but hiding behind a tent can make you look even bigger. Clothing that skims the body and shows your shape can be more flattering and helps keep you from getting ‘lost’ or looking sleazy.

2/ Get a great haircut – color too! This makes a huge impact on your appearance and is something you’ll enjoy every single day. Make sure you discuss your lifestyle, face shape and coloring with your stylist to be assured you’ll get the perfect look. After all, if you’re a busy woman you want to look great but don’t have all morning to spend on your hair.

3/ Wear clothing that you LOVE! Wearing something that is a ‘should’ or that you just happen to have in your closet does nothing to inspire you. However when you put on a jacket that is so very YOU, you just can’t help but feel good in it!

4/ Reconnect with your current self – If you’re still dressing like you were in college, that’s likely to bring you down (however, if you can still fit in the clothes that’s awesome). Reevaluate who you are, what you like and what your lifestyle is. If you’ve made a change in recent years, ensure you’re dressing to suit that and not stuck in a rut from decades ago.

5/ The devil’s in the details – A little makeup goes a long way. Bring some color into your face with a pretty lipstick or gloss, brighten your eyes with pretty shadow and make them pop with mascara. It’ll make you smile! Add in some accessories that you just love and it will personalize your look while adding interest.

6/ Dress for the body you have right now – If you’ve had kids, lost weight or gained weight (be honest, nobody minds) then dress to enhance your assets and downplay your flaws. When you do you’ll look like a million bucks and feel great to boot! If you don’t know what your assets are try asking a trusted friend to point out what’s great about you!

Now that you know how to get dressed, it’s time for a little inner reflection. I want you to look at your self image and ask who you compare yourself to? Who do you give your power away and why? When did that start, and what belief about yourself did you form? If you grew up feeling like you were never pretty enough, take a look at yourself now and feel grateful for all your gorgeous assets! If you felt like you weren’t good enough, try feeling thankful for all your gifts and the ability to help others. It will help you to shift your perspective and to see that you are beautiful, you are valued and you are LOVED!

Marianne Williamson wrote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Her beautiful words have inspired me to feel great about who I am and to know that I can make a difference in women’s lives. I’d like to encourage you to embrace your power, however it might look and feel how beautiful you truly are!

Get a Makeover on the Inside First

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wished for a complete and total makeover? I sure have! When the woman staring back at you is no longer recognizable and you really don’t like the image your showing the world. It’s almost as if they can see how you’re really feeling on the inside, which is tired, run-down and frumpy. Uh-oh!

Feeling frumpy and disconnected from yourself are results that most women relate to on the outside. When you don’t like what you see your first thought is probably to go shopping, get a new haircut or call a style expert like myself. But wait! Before you pick up the phone to make your first appointment there’s something you should know: what you first need to makeover isn’t your appearance, but really your mindset.

Say what? You may be wondering what in the world your mindset and your outer image have in common, but believe me, they are joined at the hip. If you’re not liking what you see in the mirror, the work you should be starting with isn’t a makeover in a traditional sense, but a makeover of your spirit. When you can makeover your mindset and your attitude the results will be much more meaningful, and when you do get that gorgeous new look it will feel much more right for you.

If making over your mindset sounds like too much work, and far less fun than being primped and preened by a team of professionals, hear me out. Getting a makeover on the inside is about personal growth, which leaves you with results that are much longer lasting than a physical makeover, and can have profound changes that affect every aspect of your life. Some things to consider next time you utter the words “I need a makeover”:

1/ What’s your motivation for wanting a new look? Perhaps you’ve been last on your list lately and it’s time for a little self-care in the form of pampering. If this is the case, chances are your self-worth could use a boost. Carve out time each week for a special treatment, or simple just time to relax with a friend or a good cup of tea. When you make time to do those things that help you recharge, you send the message that you are important and can help you to have more to give back to others.

2/ What’s Being Comfortable Costing You? If you sacrifice comfort for the sake of style, let me be the first to tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way. But if you’re staying comfortable in your life because you’re afraid of change, ask yourself what it’s costing you. If you’re hiding out and playing small, chances are it’s costing you some self-esteem and is leaving you feeling less than you’re capable of, not to mention missing the financial and other opportunities that await you.

3/ Are You Letting Fear Hold You Back? You know what fear is, don’t you? False evidence appearing real. You could be afraid of what others think of you, afraid you’ll fail if you really try or afraid of the unknown. I’m going to tell you what I tell my daughter – feel the fear, and do it anyway. Once you’re on the other side, the feeling is one of the biggest confidence boosters you can get!

Recently I heard a someone point out  the differences between taking baby steps and playing small, and about the world of difference there is between the two. Taking baby steps each day to move you closer to your goal will get you there just fine. However, playing small doesn’t serve you or those around you, and will only hold you back from your goals of looking and feeling fabulous! Making a little progress each day towards your goal of feeling great and looking great can result in a new look, but more importantly, and new mindset. So do what it takes to make you feel great and move you in the right direction because as my mentor says, ‘without change comes stagnation’.

What’s the Big Deal About Beautiful?

Do you feel beautiful? For many long years I felt anything but. Self-conscious, yes. But beautiful? Please. Today I can easily say that I am beautiful and fully embrace what that means. You may be asking yourself why I am calling myself beautiful, so read on. And trust me, it’s NOT about my ego because I want you to be able to say “I am beautiful” too!

After working with women intimately, getting into their closets, seeing them try on clothing and helping them put themselves together in a way that brings out their best, I’ve discovered it is self-image that holds them back and keeps them from seeing themselves as beautiful. In our culture, it isn’t common for women to see themselves as beautiful or even accept that they are attractive. Women somehow feel that they can’t accept a compliment and they brush it off without a thought because they don’t feel deserving of it. But the irony is that by rejecting compliments, you’re rejecting your own beauty. When you’re able to accept yourself as the gorgeous woman you truly are, everything changes.

But why do I want you to see yourself as beautiful? Why not just nice, pretty or mildly attractive? Because when you’re beautiful, you’re being the best you can be. You’re tapping into what makes you stand out and you feel a stronger connection to yourself. It’s not merely superficial, but something that goes to your very core.

Think of a ripe, juicy orange ready to burst, a gorgeous rose in full bloom or an amazing, colorful sunset. They are in their full glory, at their best because that’s the way they were made. Nature didn’t create them to play small and only show half of their brilliance, just like God didn’t create you to hold yourself small and keep your gifts hidden. Yet, as beautiful as the orange, the rose and the sunset are, they are not without imperfections – the orange may have a blemish or two on its skin, the rose has its prickly thorns and the view of the sunset may be obscured by the trees. However, these imperfections do not take away from their beauty, but serve to make it more real to us. It is with these imperfections that our humanity is reflected. We are not perfect beings and for us to criticize ourselves because of our imperfections is for us to deny our humanity. Look past the imperfections and your true beauty will be revealed. When you can see your true beauty, despite what you consider to be your imperfections, you light the way for others to begin to see their own beauty.

Looking and feeling beautiful is about being in touch with who you are and reflecting your essence in how you present yourself to the world. It’s a level of self-confident assurance as much as it is a personal style. It’s that way of being that says “This is who I am. Take it or leave it.” With this self-assuredness, you can bet everyone around you will want to connect with you and be a part of your secret. They’ll want what you have, that certain something that they just can’t put their finger on. You’ll inspire them to find it in themselves, just by being you!

If you’d like to discover how to create a style that is authentic to you, email me at Michele@onechicmama.com to schedule a quick call that can change how you get dressed for life!